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#invisibledisabilities

1 post1 participant0 posts today
Public
Shantell Powell

Well, figured out what's going on with my neck/shoulder/arm. I've been diagnosed as being in the early stages of frozen shoulder. Apparently, menopausal folks are more prone to it for unknown reasons. Yay?

So I have about a year and a half until this issue goes away, and it will get worse before it gets better. The good news is that when that awful pain happens, I'm not causing myself damage. Apparently, a cortisone shot early on will help prevent some of that pain. So will continuing to exercise regularly, although I will have to avoid exercises which bring on the pain (which is sudden and intense). Massages will also help, because the surrounding muscles will lock up from that pain.

Looks like I have a rocky road ahead of me.

Public
Shantell Powell

When I first started back at the gym three years ago, I made fantastic progress. I regained a lot of lost strength and mobility. But since I had COVID in October 2023 I have been in decline. First it was with my endurance. I went from being able to hold a >5 minute plank. A year after COVID, I struggled to hold one for 40 seconds.

Now I'm noticing a lot of old injuries have reappeared for no apparent reason. Though I haven't been doing running and jumping, my Achilles tendonopathy from several years ago has returned. My clicking hip syndrome has shown up on my good hip. The patella femoral syndrome of my youth is threatening a comeback.

And now there's something very wrong with my shoulder/neck/arm. I can no longer put on a sports bra without pain.

I find myself gripping the bannister when going down stairs. I have more frequent headaches.

I don't know if this is all related to long COVID, or if I'm just old.

I don't know what to put down for a fitness goal as I've failed every one of them for the past two years. Its disheartening, to say the least. I mourn the loss of my excellent strength and fitness.

At least I'm able to walk without exhausting myself. I'll take that as a win. There have been a few times in my life when I was too disabled to walk very much at all.

Public
Shantell Powell

When I was a little kid, I fell down a lot, and it wasn't because I was clumsy. I remember going to school and being confused by how all the other kids could run quickly and not fall down. My knees bonked together. My left foot turned inward so that I tripped over it all the time.

I wore orthopedic shoes throughout my early years to correct it. I never kneeled back to sit on my feet because that made matters worse. My doctor caught me doing it once and slapped me, saying I must never sit that way.

By the time I was in grade two or three, I could walk fine. But then I went through a massive growth spurt in grade five which wrecked my knee cartilage. I didn't run because it hurt.

In grade six, my teacher called me lazy because I was so slow at running. In grade seven gym class, I was the slowest. My teacher scolded me for running more slowly than the kid with crutches and a broken leg.

By the time I was in my teens, I ignored the pain and ran everywhere. My knees were black and blue and swollen, but I ran anyway. I just couldn't squat without awful pain, and even the lightest tap on my knee could drop me.

I never got over the knee pain until I started martial arts in my late 20s, and then I had massive foot pain. My right foot has been swollen since 1999. I once spent an entire month not putting weight on that foot to see if it would help. It didn't. My swollen foot is 1.5 sizes larger than the other foot, which makes getting good-fitting shoes difficult.

And in 2012, when I was a professional dancer and a competitive athlete (weightlifting and cross country running), my hip had a massive flareup. Ends up the hip issue is congenital and was what caused my foot issue as a little kid.

I was afraid I'd never be able to walk properly again, let alone run.

I got most of my mobility back, but then I started having issues with my SI joint, also caused by the hip thing. And then I got Achilles tendonopathy.

I have almost always looked fit and strong, but have been managing invisible disabilities all my life. And I haven't even touched on my neurological, GI tract, dental, vision, PTSD, or respiratory issues.

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Shantell Powell

A few years ago, I developed Achilles tendonopathy. It manifested as a feeling like I had a bad blister on the back of my heels, only there was no blister. Everything looked normal. But it took me a year of daily physio and not being able to jump or move faster than a slow walk before the pain went away.

It's started to feel like that again recently, and I have no idea what could have caused it.

When I had it before, it was an overtraining injury. I was practicing Thai kickboxing several times a week. It has a LOT of hopping. And our warmups were lots of rope jumping. Double-unders and such. I loved kickboxing until my tendons wouldn't let me do it anymore.

This time, I haven't been running. I haven't been jumping. I am not overtraining at all. No idea what is causing it. I really hope it isn't returning, because the pain was often excruciating.

I'm going to a physiotherapist tomorrow. It's for something else, but hopefully they can check out my Achilles tendons and help me figure out what's going on.

My body sure loves trolling me. And I sure do miss martial arts.

betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health

www.betterhealth.vic.gov.auAchilles tendonitisPeople who run regularly seem to be susceptible to Achilles tendonitis
Public
Shantell Powell

I went to a patio restaurant the morning after my return from the Maritimes because I didn't have anything at home for breakfast. I ordered a big bowl of porridge with fruit and nuts, but first asked the wait staff if the almonds were chopped. They assured me the nuts were chopped. But when I got my food, they were whole and I had to fish them all out. I'm not picky by choice. My teeth are just that bad. I can't have whole almonds anymore because I break my teeth on them. I also can't have popcorn, chewing gum, toffee, corn nuts, or anything like that. My teeth fall apart terribly easily.

I wish wait staff took my questions seriously.

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Shantell Powell

While training at the gym, I accidentally looked at the sun reflecting off a windshield and that triggered my scintillating scotoma. I spent the final third of my gym time minus about a third of my vision. A bright circle of electric blue-white light, like sparks from an arc welder, strobed across my field of vision. I was afraid I wouldn’t be ok to ride my bike home, but thankfully it went away after about fifteen minutes. I guess I’m going to have to wear my sunglasses at the gym.

Whenever this strikes, I’m always scared it will not go away. At its worst, I’ve had it 24/7 for four months across about 75% of my vision. Because it’s such an unusual disorder, most folks have no idea how incapacitating it is. I usually get a sort of hangover afterwards which leaves me with increased brain fog.

I suspect it might have been caused by the Irvings spraying DDT over my home a bunch of times when I was a little kid.

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Shantell Powell

Three years ago I had to keep a bucket in the bathroom because whenever I had to poop, there was a good chance I might puke from the pain. Ends up it was a side effect of the medication I was on at the time, but I couldn’t discuss that with my doctor because of his one symptom per visit rule. I even fainted once from it. So glad my digestive system is functioning like a normal person’s, now. I had a terrible, excruciating couple of years.

Continued thread
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Shantell Powell

In 2012, when my hip freaked out, i was the absolute fittest I’ll ever be in my life. I trained daily and across multiple sports. My hip condition came on suddenly and almost without warning. I had an undiagnosed hip disorder from birth, and it was a ticking time bomb. I looked fitness-magazine fit. I was muscular and lean. But I was also disabled and unable to walk more than a few steps without severe pain. Riding on the buses was awful. Drivers never wait for people to be seated before driving, and every lurch had me on the verge of screaming. And i was reluctant to ask for a seat when it was standing room only. I knew what i looked like. No one would believe i was disabled.

Around 2015, I entered my first mountain race since my hip crapped out on me. I was able to complete the race, but only because every now and then, I’d lay on my back and have @Knightky tug my leg. Traction was a regular part of my therapy. My hip ball kept getting completely jammed in the socket. He pulled it out so I could run/walk again. I had so many people stop and look all worried asking if i needed help. I had to tell them that this was my normal. It’s nice that so many people were willing to help. But I’m glad I have vastly improved since then. I might not be doing mountain races anymore, but it’s been years since my hip last jammed like that.

And now i found a new physiotherapist who i feel a good rapport with. I’ve been getting treated for SI joint issues for ten years, and no matter what I’ve done, the problem doesn’t go away. I can walk for miles, but standing for any length of time hurts a lot. I can’t do regular deadlifts or standard weighted squats or even carry a backpack without pain (but i found workarounds).

He told me he doesn’t think it’s originating from my SI joint but from surrounding muscular imbalances. The SI joint is just a side effect when things go out of wack. That tracks for me. My wonky hip pretty much guarantees all sorts of things are out of alignment and overcompensating. Lots more single leg training for me.

Public
Shantell Powell

Because of my lack of sleep on Friday night, I am experiencing substantial brain fog today. I’m having a difficult time thinking, and my brain feels like a heavy dead weight inside my skull. My eyes are heavy and don’t want to stay open, although I am not sleepy. It feels like migraine postdrone. I have a writing workshop within the hour, and a reading and Q&A at 5. How am I to function? Argh. I am lucky that my writing is smarter than the rest of me right now. I’m feeling awfully nonverbal.

Continued thread
Public
Shantell Powell

When we got back to City Hall and it was time to eat, I filled a plate from the sumptuous buffet and went outside to eat by myself. I didn’t feel safe eating inside with a big international crew when there are COVID outbreaks all over the region. When I was through eating, I went back inside, but there were no seats left. I stood off to the side as my back hurt more and more and more from standing on concrete. I wondered how weird it would be if I sat down on the floor. I would have, if I didn’t think people might trip over me. I can’t handle standing still for long. It gives me significant pain. I either have to sit down or keep moving.

Public
Shantell Powell

I feel like I’m finally back to normal. I managed to train at the gym every day this week, and my muscles are strong again. My guts are operating the way they should, and my toothache has receded to manageable levels of pain. I wrote a flash fiction, a new chapter for my manuscript, and I did housework. I sure wish I could be this way every week, but my disabilities crop up randomly and grind me to a halt. All I can do is maximize these good days.

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Shantell Powell

I have a medical procedure coming up and had to answer a questionnaire. Among other things, I was asked if I have problems with “blenching”. I looked that word up, but can find no definition. There was also no way for me to request feedback, so I’m left wondering if they meant belching, blanching, or something else altogether. Ugh. Also, I was asked if I experience headaches, gut issues, congestion, coughing, etc. The answer is yes. Those are all part of a normal day for me. Oh, the joys of having chronic health issues which match up with COVID symptoms. Just to be sure, I tested myself, and came up negative.

Public
Shantell Powell

I wanted to do to a two-spirit powwow today, but the air is poison so I didn’t. And now I have a bad toothache. I may need to get a tooth pulled. Why does this happen on a long weekend right before I go on a trip to see my parents in PEI? Argh. My sister and her kids are coming to visit tomorrow, and I’m afraid I’ll be in too much pain to enjoy the visit. My teeth are a disaster, but I’ve only had to have two fillings this year. A few years ago, I needed 13 in one year.

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