The funny thing about #cPTSD / chronic trauma is you get so detatched from your body and emotions that you don’t even know what you need.
Under the surface you can be dealing with SO much without even realising it because you’re so accustomed to it… until someone gets a glimpse at what you’ve gone thru and gasps in shock.
It’s so difficult living like this, because your instincts, your sense of emotional pain have been so blunted you’re not even aware you need first aid. #ActuallyAutistic
Me, immediately after having a flashback: what a perfect detail for a character’s tragic backstory!
[makes a mental note for later so I don’t forget]
-Allēna
#cptsd #storyboarding #amwriting
I am a struggling person looking to form (or find) a serious support & crisis network with others focused on dealing with serious life struggles! As there is a severe lack of options for some of us on that.
Please DM me for more details if your interested! Am always available and in need! 
They say you shouldn’t nightblog, I say fuck the rules. You get painsomnia poetry.
Because with yours truly’s CPTSD, you get art on occasion. Treat yourself.
-Allēna
#NEISvoid #spilledink #cptsd #poetry #insomnia #anaisnin #enneagram8 #vulnerability #spoonie #painsomnia
Apparently they will only help once you are two or three weeks behind, so then your personal rental rating gets tarnished with a black mark - making it even harder to secure some accommodation.
This is why people like I don’t ask for help, & less likely to do so again in the future.
Help #disabled #Indigenous #Latina family; #homeless
#SabiLewSounds is multidisciplinary #artist & #musician; #disability & #mentalhealth #advocate; 24/7 caretaker for #elderly mom w/ #dementia & #ESA #bunny
Hotel past due, only one night covered
Another long day of study: manuscript edits this morning, referencing all afternoon, and Lent study tonight. I also had my first session with a new therapist—she seems good, more somatic-focused compared to my previous psychodynamic one. Different energy. I’ve also joined the Christian Union at Deakin. The Bible teaching is brilliant, though socialising is tough with all the noise—I can’t hear well enough to join in.
@SabiLewSounds is disabled 24/7 caretaker for elderly mom & ESA bunny
#homeless & HOTEL NOW PAST DUE
$751 Minimum Needed
$761 Covers all Bills
$1011 All Needs
Please when you consider this disabled Indigenous Latina family, consider these things
Upcoming week for hotel needed by 11AM ET
$751 Minimum Needed
$761 Covers all Bills
$1011 All Needs
https://PayPal.me/SabiLewSounds
https://Ko-fi.com/SabiLewSounds
Ds Discussions - 19 Homeland Security
Help disabled #Indigenous #Latina family; #homeless & sheltering in hotel
Tonight & every night beyond are not yet covered for hotel!
$432 PAST DUE Hotel
$1232 Covers all Bills
$1492 All Needs
https://Ko-fi.com/SabiLewSounds
https://PayPal.me/SabiLewSounds
#FundFriday #HelpSky #BIPOCMA #DisabledMutualAid #SabiLewSounds #SupportDisabledArtists #Traumasurvivor #Cptsd #DisabledCreator #DisabilityPride #MutualAid #Poverty #LightWithin #Fempreneur #MentalHealthAdvocate #MentalHealthAwareness 
#WritersCoffeeClub Day 21: Happy World Poetry Day! Share your most poetic line.
How can I possibly choose? I publish poetry.
But maybe a sample.
Masks
I get up, get dressed.
I put on shoes.
And then I don my mask.
I walk down the street.
My mask smiles,
and even says hello to passers-by.
I shop for food,
and the mask says: please, thank you,
and smiles again.
I come home.
Remove the mask,
and walk past covered mirrors.
I used to take my face out,
and use my own voice.
But no more.
I wear a mask,
so I can cry inside.
Alone.
[Written when in therapy for #cPTSD]
