[Mary: Thanks for the entertainment ]

You are more than weldocme.

I can't spell. The movie was so bad it destroyed an ability I mastered in 4th grade.

***END OF THIS WASTE OF 2 HOURS OF MY LIFE***

If you read this whole thing, um, thanks? And I'm sorry?

A movie that is nothing but a pastiche of stereotypes shoved down our throats, about people behaving in the most stereotyped ways possible, doing exactly what every couple in every romance movie in American history has done, exactly the way they do it, and who find that everything in the world is predestined and manipulated by a loving and unreachable god... is somehow supposed to mean that everyone should do what they want and not follow the crowd.

[Mary: I'm pretty sure I got the better end of this movie. ]

Yeah, I'm very, very glad this was an entertaining live-tweet experience, not $20 at a movie theater.

(narration is actually GBD)

"Most people live life on the path we set for them, too afraid to explore any other. But once in a while, people like you come along, who knock down all the obstacles we put in your way. People who realize free will is a gift you'll never know how to use until you fight for it."

[Mary: Replacing their hats with actual cats would have added a lot. ]

[Mary: I'm also glad I didn't spend my time watching that. ]

(continued narration): "I think that's the Chairman's real plan: that maybe one day we won't write the plan. You will."

OH MY FUCKING GOD

Matcha Daemon is doing voiceover while he and Elise walk in NYC. I'm pausing because my disappointment is like a 300-lb basement gamer on the couch right next to me, stinking up the living room. Gonna write some of this #denouement bullshit because I'm feeling that it's going to be very, very bad.

GBD gonna read the message.

They are a serious deviation from the plan.

So the Chairman rewrote the plan.

Okay. Yeah.

This movie should just be renamed Deus Ex Machina (shameless edition)

"Elise, when you went through that door at the Statue of Liberty, you risked everything, too."

(If this movie is even HINTED for an Oscar, I'm going to vomit)

"You inspired me. Seems like you inspired the Chairman, too."

So this is about how God really is watching and everything happens for a reason and please do not every question the status quo. Got it.

Even Thompson has a boss."

"The chairman comes to everyone in a different form. "

[Mary: <eyeroll>]

"It's always a test, even for members of the Adjustment Bureau." #movie #namedrop

WAIT. In another zero-suspense twist, GBD shows up with a manilla envelope for Thompson.

Tommy is reading it.

Unhappy look.

"I undertsand."

We have no time to feel any suspense. If they're going to bre killed or whatever.

[Mary: What?! Is there a hidden door back there? ]

I know. Zero explanation. Seems like lazy #worldbuilding.

[Mary: Oh, bad joke opportunity about back doors. ]

Thompson has been filled with longing.

[Mary: Well that other guy was going to clean Matty, maybe a threesome? ]

Hugs. I love you no matter what, etc. etc. blah blah. Long smooch. Wow

so much kissing. FAce devouring. Kind of desperate. pRetty hot. Goons now gone... what?

I did not predict this (unless it's
"true love triumphs"

nope.

Thompson is right behind them!

Door: Top of a skyscraper! Wrong door!

But they keep coming here.

Ah, maybe there IS no chairman.

Maybe it's bureaucrats all the way down.

BDs & their goons (with kubatons) have them cornered on a very tall skyscraper roof with a railing. Nowhere to run.

His hat, it does nothing!

Cutscene: GBD is wanted in the Chairman's office immediately.

More chasing. Team Love4eva is sprinting sweatily. BDs are inexorably walking. Def gonna ambush them.

Pretty sure this was filmed in a big library.

You can't be in here! GEt them! and so forth.

#TheAdjustmentBureau mentBureau

Uh-Oh. The BDs have figured out they're going RIGHT INTO THE BD CENTRAL OFFICES

"You can't be in here!" lots of running

Phalanx of BDs stalking after them, led by Thompson, who know sthe shortcuts

Ah, now Matter Demons is gonna go find who wrote the Plan Book.

he has to ABANDON Elise on Ellis Island (with no boat or #snacks
to go find the book/plan writer.

No, "I'm cmoing with you!"
At least there's some teamwork

and she has a very low-cut dress. Pretty great for chase scenes, actually.

ause while I call the next bit:
Within 3 minutes she will say she doesn't want to be superdancerlady, she just wants to be the wife of the future Senator for NY.

ok back to Ellis Island action, with absolutely zero extra-oppressive symbolism while they hash out free will and letting her make her own choices right under Lady Liberty.

pause while I call the next bit:
Within 3 minutes she will say she doesn't want to be superdancerlady, she just wants to be the wife of the future Senator for NY.

[Mary: . Bc getting married is important. We haven't even factored in reproduction vessel yet.]